{"product_id":"goose-whitesnake","title":"Goose Whitesnake available for PRE ORDER ships July","description":"\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eInspired by the one.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe only.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe absolute menace himself — Goose Whitesnake.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMy husband's real wife.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDon’t let this tiny fluffy boy fool you. Goose moves fast like a cobra in a tiny haunted fur coat. He hates haircuts with the rage of a thousand suns, despite rocking the most glorious white-trash glam-rock mullet ever seen by mortal eyes.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis tiny gremlin has strong opinions, zero patience, and the soul of an elderly man yelling at clouds from a trailer park in 1987.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNaturally… we made him into a toy.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFeatures\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-spread=\"false\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003estuffed with premium catnip\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eloud crinkle texture inside\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003ebungee tail for kicking, tossing, and chaos\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003esoft plush body\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eembroidered facial details\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003etiny goblin energy\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003einspired by the real Goose Whitesnake himself\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGoose’s Hobbies Include\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-spread=\"false\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003escreaming for no reason\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003egoing up the stairs, then barking till you come get him\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003ehating grooming appointments\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eanger when other dogs touch him\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003elooking absolutely feral and adorable simultaneously\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eemotionally manipulating everyone in the house\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIncluded\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWe added a real photo of the legendary Goose who inspired this toy, because honestly the world deserves to witness that mullet.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-spread=\"false\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003ecats with attitude problems\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003epets that crave chaos\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003etiny weirdos\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eglam rock gremlins\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDoris Bizarro collectors\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDoris Bizarro Warning\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGoose fears nothing except haircuts and accountability.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e5x3inches\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Doris Bizarro","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52923973304629,"sku":null,"price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0897\/1586\/7957\/files\/IMG_8219.jpg?v=1779770849","url":"https:\/\/www.dorisbizarro.com\/fr\/products\/goose-whitesnake","provider":"Doris Bizarro","version":"1.0","type":"link"}